That Kind of Love

This past Saturday August 20, our sanctuary was full of the Spirit's love and care as we held a funeral for baby Charles Negus.  Your outpouring of support in this time of loss has been absolutely critical to Carl, Elizabeth, Al & Carolyn and their families.  Just as our hearts have broken open, we have also heard again the Good News of the Gospel.  Death is not the end.  God is present with us in our suffering.  The family will need our support for a good while.  Our job is not to fix the pain, but to embrace this situation with love and care. 


I have also met with the caregiver Ryan.  I stood with him at his house as he poured out loads of grief in words and in tears.  The guilt of what "might have been" and "if only" is eating him alive.  He is also scared for his own future, with an investigation looming.  His wife and children are also deeply affected.  This horrible situation for our own is also a nightmare for him.

The papers have reported his unfortunate history.  But by no means did he want or desire this to happen.  It is my imagination that he will replay these events over and over, wishing he could do things differently.  

Accidents happen. Things go wrong. Blaming Ryan doesn’t help anyone, not even Carl or Elizabeth.  This is a tragedy for everyone and our role is to ease the suffering, not to perpetuate or spread it.

Let us follow the lead of Charlie's parents who are showing tremendous faith. Elizabeth: “I’m still Charlie’s mom, and I don’t want negativity, resentment and anger to be the way to carry on his memory. That’s not what I want to teach him. That’s not the way I want him to see us.” Another family member said this after the funeral: “Ryan needs our prayers. He didn’t want this to happen. He will have the guilt of this for the rest of his life.”

That is why we put Ryan and his family on our prayer list. We will send cards to him saying that we are praying for him.  And by doing so we will be honoring Charlie and his family. Let our love for Charlie be that kind of love.

David